• A slasher rehash goes well south on the remake bandwagon.Genre: Horror, slasher
Director: Glen Morgan
DVD released: April 3, 2007
Cast: Katie Cassidy, Lacey Chabert, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Michelle Trachtenberg, Oliver Hudson, Andrea Martin
Verdict: &1/2As an introductory disclaimer, it should be noted that I haven't seen the original 1974 Black Christmas (aka Stranger in the House and Silent Night, Evil Night), a prototypical slasher flick in the Halloween vein. On the other hand, relatively few people have seen this remake, which crept silently into theaters at Christmas and swiftly exited with little notice. The movie sets the slasher motif at a sorority house during Christmas break with a handful of girls/victims staying behind with the house mother rather than heading home like their sensible sorority sisters did. Screaming young girls are, of course, choice victims for this flavor of horror, and the holiday theme opens the door to some interesting imagery. As the victims are picked off one by one, some tedious back-story details the origin of the attic-dwelling killer. The problem here is that what may have been shocking in 1974 is merely more of the same uninspired horror in the mid-2000s; the best thing the remake has going for it is the juxtaposition of dread with happy, shiny Christmas decor. It seems at best utterly empty, an exercise in futility and a rather obvious jumping-on-the-bandwagon remake. Director Glen Morgan did far, far superior work penning some of the best episodes of The X-Files; he also directed a better movie, Final Destination. Notable cast selections include Lacy Chabert (Party of Five) as one of the girls and Oliver Hudson (Rules of Engagement) as a doomed boyfriend. Bob Clark, director of the original, had a bizarrely diverse filmography including Porky's, Turk 182 and, remarkably, A Christmas Story, which never fails to send me scurrying for the remote control. Clark tragically died, along with his son, in an auto crash in California in April. // DVD notes // It's available "exclusively at Blockbuster," which explains why I couldn't find it at my usual rental joint, which, unlike Blockbuster, always has everything. The disc includes four brief deleted scenes plus three others in expanded, alternate and international form. Of the three alternate endings, two are quite different from the final cut, and the understated approach of the first was not a bad idea. Only true masochists will want to delve into the two featurettes.
• The director of a horror classic serves up sharp performances laced with aphids, paranoia and conspiracies.Genre: Thriller
Director: William Friedkin
Run time: 1:41
Cast: Ashley Judd, Michael Shannon, Harry Connick Jr., Lynn Collins, Brian F. O'Byrne
Verdict: &&&1/2From The Exorcist director William Friedkin, this wordy paranoia thriller plays like a bizarre X-Files more than it does the creature-based horror that the trailers suggest. That's likely to frustrate much of the teenage audience who will go to see it, as it doesn't follow the rules of typical popcorn thrillers, but those who appreciate something more cerebral are rewarded. At least the first third of the movie is rural drama rather than thriller as we meet Agnes (Ashley Judd), a down-and-out bartender living in a trashy room at the "Rustic Motel" in small-town Oklahoma, and Peter (Michael Shannon), a drifter and former soldier who wanders in with Agnes' gal pal. The two share a heightened vulnerability — Agnes is haunted by the loss of her missing son and emotionally tortured by an abusive ex (a buffed-up Harry Connick Jr.), while Peter is secretly on the run and tortured in a bizarre fashion that becomes apparent as the movie unfolds. Desperation brings these lonely souls together in scenes that sing with realism and sharp dialogue; one can get lost in the connection being made in this room of the Rustic Motel, where almost the entire movie takes place. (The wordiness is due in no small part to the movie's roots in the off-Broadway play by Tracy Letts; Shannon also played Peter for the stage.) Sheepish yet intelligent, Peter eventually reveals to Agnes his obsession with bugs that he believes are inside him as the result of military experimentation, and Agnes soon finds herself living amongst cans of Raid and an obstacle course of fly paper as Peter mutilates himself to rid his body of aphids (one painfully graphic scene is nothing short of unwatchable). Agnes becomes swept up in Peter's grand conspiracy theory, and this is the story's one stumble; it's never really believable that the vulnerable but scrappy female lead would make such a leap against logic, and particularly with the ferocity displayed here. The final act is unabashedly and appropriately over-the-top for an incredibly ballsy piece of cinema that is punctuated by beautifully emotional performances by Judd and, especially, Shannon. As a study of paranoia, it gets under the skin, but it's the human element of Bug that really thrills.
New versions of old stuff often stink. With that in mind, Jeblog presents Some Things To Know About Temptation:• It is one of two new syndicated daily game shows for the 2007-08 season that will premiere on Sept. 10. The other new show is Merv Griffin's Let's Do Crosswords — a name that suggests Griffin lost his mojo for titles after Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy!.
• It is based on Sale of the Century, one of the unsung workhorse formats of the game show genre — an internationally proven game that predates Wheel of Fortune. Notable runs appeared on NBC from 1983-1989 with host Jim Perry, the UK's ITV from 1971 to 1985 and Australia's 9 Network from 1980 to 2001 (that's 21 years!). The show was revamped in Australia, returning as Temptation in 2005, and continues as a hit today.
• The Sale/Temptation format is a brilliant fusion of a three-player general knowledge quizzer with frenzied consumerism. At various points in the game, the player in the lead is tempted to buy snazzy merchandise such as a brand new television for, say, $6 off his score (questions are worth five each). "Going once! Going twice! …" For each game win, a progressively larger prize is offered to the champion, who can take it and leave or risk it to come back and play for more, as well as a mounting cash jackpot at the end. The ever-rising stakes can create delicious drama.
• The first of several dubious signs for U.S. Temptation is host Rossi Morreale, a correspondent for Extra and former host of cable nuggets such as Sweat on G4 and Junkyard Mega-Wars on TLC. His demo reel just doesn't say "game show host," and some might suggest it says "himbo." I hope to be pleasantly surprised come September.
• Second dubious sign: This description of the show, which is a pitch to programmers, describes Temptation's quiz element as "funny pop culture questions." This is like saying Deal or no Deal consists of a cerebral general knowledge quiz.
• Third dubious sign: The production involves FremantleMedia, an entity that has proved it can needlessly meddle with and ruin a solid format (see Whammy).
• Australia's Temptation, hosted by the classy Ed Phillips with cohost Lavinia Nixon, is the best game show currently on television anywhere (OK, I haven't watched Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?, but still). Click here to watch a couple of episodes.
• Young hotties try not to become road kill.Genre: Horror
DVD released: May 1, 2007
Director: Dave Meyers
Cast: Zachary Knighton, Sophia Bush, Sean Bean, Neal McDonough
Run time: 1:24
Verdict: &&1/2With mayhem and death occurring on the highways every day, a long stretch of asphalt makes a natural setting for today's brand of violent horror movie, and The Hitcher fuses that with fears of breakdowns and being pursued by the unknown. This remake of the 1986 C. Thomas Howell-Jennifer Jason Leigh vehicle has a few variations from the original plot, but it's more or less the same, with a couple of road-tripping young hotties (Knighton and Bush) running afoul of a sadistic freak who gives new meaning to road kill. As the body count rises, the hitcher's devious ways put the young couple under suspicion of the local law enforcement as he continues to stalk them. While the critics almost universally hated this movie, I found it to be reasonably effective for what it is — a Saturday night drinking movie that doesn't aspire to be anything more. Bonus points for use of Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" during the best highway crash scene. // DVD notes // A long list of deleted scenes includes an alternate ending that really only ups the violence in the way one character exits. Featurettes include a making-of and an inside look at the car stunts.
By "free Madonna," we don't mean a campaign to liberate the queen of pop from the Kabbalah, but rather an absolutely free download of a new song called "Hey You" at MSN. It's part of the promotion for Live Earth, a 24-hour, seven-continent concert series on July 7. Live Earth U.K. will include performances by Madonna, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Genesis and Beastie Boys. The song — a sort of personal-empowerment ballad with acoustic guitar and a light marching rhythm — is surprisingly sedate given that Pharrell Williams is co-producer. With a melody that takes hold by the second listen and nicely layered vocals, it's absolutely worth downloading. It's arguably a b-side sort of tune and sounds nothing like the pulsating Confessions on a Dance Floor material — it's not a stretch to imagine this being churned out during the Ray of Light era. It's also not a stretch to imagine Mo and Pharrell turned this out in a couple of hours over some tofu. Word is the song won't go to radio, and it's available as a free MP3 or WMA download for a limited time, although the end date seems to be unspecified.
The television networks unveiled largely underwhelming plans for next season this week. Some dish on what's ahead:CBS comedy MondayYes, the latecomer David Spade-Patrick Warburton sitcom Rules of Engagement made the cut for renewal, while The Class mercifully did not. The New Adventures of Old Christine, which sharpened nicely late this season, will disappointingly not return until mid-season, while the so-so 20-something ensemble How I Met Your Mother also made the cut. It will be paired with a new comedy, The Big Bang Theory, described by CBS as a show about "genius geeks." Isn't that redundant? Johnny Galecki from Roseanne stars as one of the two geeks, and sitcom vet James Burrows helms the pilot. Until Christine returns, the lineup will be: How I Met / Big Bang Theory / Two and a Half Men / Rules of Engagement / CSI: Miami.The sitcom is deadNBC will introduce not a single sitcom among its surprisingly few — five — new shows, although the network gave major love to The Office with a big 25-episode order, including five one-hour installments. Now, that's a super-sized episode. ABC canceled a number of comedies you've probably never seen, including George Lopez and Help Me Help You, while According to Jim was left in limbo.The sitcom is not deadRatings-deprived but hilarious 30 Rock moves to the post-Earl slot, and it's hard not to look at FOX's Kelsey Grammer-Patricia Heaton vehicle, Back to You, as promising.The caveman showYep, ABC is doing a show based on the Geico commercials with the neurotic caveman. But will it be clever enough to use that excellent Royksopp tune, "Remind Me," as the theme song?A vampire showAn "undead" private investigator uses his acute vampire senses to help the living and fight his adversaries among the undead. The fact that it's paired with Ghost Whisperer on CBS doesn't bode well for Moonlight, unless you like your horror with a Lifetime movie sensibility.A game showDrew Carey (ugh) hosts Power of 10, a Michael Davies product that sounds like it will involve Card Sharks-style survey questions ("What percentage of married Americans said they were virgins the day they got married?) propped up by another tired money tree with $10 million on the line.L&OThe venerable original Law & Order will return for an 18th season despite its ratings slide and increasingly shark-jumping plotlines. SVU and Criminal Intent return, as well, though the CI episodes will appear first on USA.Down the hatchDo people still watch that punishing tease called Lost? It returns at mid-season for an uninterrupted run, and the final three seasons will each include a slim 16 episodes.CBS photo: Johnny Galecki gets geeky in The Big Bang Theory.
• It's more shucks than yuks in the season finale.Airs: 7 p.m. CT Monday (May 15) on CBS
Verdict: &&1/2How does that old saying go — something borrowed, something blue, to renew or not to renew? In the season finale, How I Met Your Mother ratchets up the relationship drama as Ted and Robin (did anyone know this character is a journalist? Seriously?) wrestle with one of those falling apart moments over living in Brazil (aka, our futures go in different directions). It's quite the departure from the previous episode's silliness, although drunken newlyweds Marshall and Lily prompt a few chuckles, as does Barney as he attempts to discern what Ted and Robin don't want to say during their friends' wedding reception. It's a bittersweet end to the season, and fans won't be happy if this is the last episode. Given a choice of seeing more of this, The Class or Rules of Engagement, however, all my love goes to Rules.
• A slasher rehash goes well south on the remake bandwagon.
